Collection essentials #144: Zero Wing (Genesis)

Here is a game that is on this list not so much for the game itself, but for the meme it inspired. Zero Wing got a European release in English, but…whoever was responsible for translating the introductory cutscene did a lousy job, and I guess there were no native English speakers working on the process, because the game shipped with lousy, incorrect English dialogue. A decade later, the internet started to poke fun at it, and it became everyone’s favorite running joke. The most popular line from the intro was “All your base are belong to us”. I myself caught “all your base” fever and found the lousy English to be absolutely hilarious. I even bought a shirt with the iconic line on it, which I still have to this day.

As for the game itself, it’s a shoot ‘em up, so there’s basically no dialogue in the game aside from that one introduction. That’s a shame! Zero Wing isn’t the best or most unique shoot ‘em up in the world, but it’s pretty decent. It has a tractor beam mechanic where you can grab an enemy and hold it in front of your ship to act as a shield. The biggest problem with the game, from my experience, is the final boss, because if you die even once, when you restart you won’t get any speed power-ups, and I’m pretty sure it’s literally impossible to dodge all the final boss’s attacks without one! Even if Zero Wing were a totally horrible game, though, it would still make this list because of that famed introduction.

I have come to the odd realization that this is the only Sega Genesis shoot ‘em up on my list. That’s kind of odd, because the Genesis is kinda known for its shoot ‘em ups. And I have several of them, such as M.U.S.H.A., Lightening Force, Thunder Force III, Bio-Hazard Battle and Elemental Master. Zero Wing is certainly not as good as any of those games. The thing is, for a game to make the essentials list, I have to feel a real attachment to that game in particular, and the fact is, I just don’t quite feel that way about any of them even though I do like them all and acknowledge their quality. 

And now, to end this post, I have to give the entire transcript of Zero Wing’s incredible opening scene.

In A.D 2101 

War was beginning. 

Captain: What happen ? 

Mechanic: Somebody set up us 

          the bomb. 

Operator: We get signal. 

Captain: What ! 

Operator: Main screen turn on. 

Captain: It's you !! 

CATS: How are you gentlemen !! 

      All your base are belong 

      to us. 

      You are on the way to 

      destruction. 

Captain: What you say !! 

CATS: You have no chance to 

      survive make your time. 

      HA HA HA HA.... 

Operator: Captain !! 

Captain: Take off every 'zig'!!

         You know what you doing. 

         Move 'zig'. 

         For great justice.